I had my first "I do not think this adoption is a good idea" message from a family member today.
And even though this is not a person that I am terribly close to,
who doesn't know my heart, or any of what has brought me to this decision,
or how incredibly excited I am to be on this journey
it still made me cry to read her words.
I know that I am going to need to develop a thicker skin to comments like this
and find my voice
so that I can speak my truth, calmly and lovingly.
5 comments:
I am a big believer that people who challenge you make you even stronger in your beliefs!
That is so very true Jen - it forces us to take a closer look at why we hold the beliefs we do, and in so doing they become more firmly rooted in us.
I am still figuring this out as I go in terms of what I will chose to share, and how to respond to comments that put my beliefs in question, in an honest and loving way. This is new territory for me but I will get better as the journey continues.
International adoption is a hard thing for people with local lives to wrap their head around. That's what I've found. Just smile and know you are gloriously global and a warrior mama.
Heather
Thanks Heather!
I wish people had filters on their mouths.
The unfortunate thing is that this is a very emotional journey. However, they (mostly everyone else)are so far removed from it that they honestly don't have the slightest idea of how much you have already invested into this. Physically, financially and more important - emotionally. I honestly believe that if they knew even half of it... they would be better equipped to realize the hurt their words could carry - and they wouldn't say it!
The most hurtful things we have heard from our families are from the ones that we never kept informed. And therefore were acting out of pure ignorance. If I were to do it again, I would have made sure they got the memos. ;) (Even though I'm not necessarily close to them.)
Good luck Candice!
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