Arrived
Just a quick little update to let you know that mom and I arrived yesterday morning
after 46 loooooooooong hours of traveling.
The medical in Moscow was an experience unlike anything I have ever had before
and I promise to write a proper description of it soon.
After we dropped our bags on the floor
we promptly fell asleep for a few hours
showered
and then went for a walk.
It was -16 and sunny.
We found a little grocery store around the corner
stopped in and bought some chocolate and a bottle of vodka.
On our way to the checkout mom said, "we should get some more gum too."
Me, "here you go."
Mom, "is that gum?"
Me, "of course it is. Can't you read?"
Which made us both start to laugh.
(chocolate bar with hazelnuts, and Dirol mint gum)
We went to Traktor for dinner
Sooooo good!!!
came back to our hotel room and made ourselves a couple of screwdrivers
turned on some music
and had a little dance party right there in the room.
It felt so good to just unwind a little bit...
Today we are just kind of lazing around.
Tomorrow morning at 8 we will head out to the orphanage to see Zenya
and have a meeting with Alex to go over court preparations.
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Let's Get Physical
I know you've all been waiting to hear about the rigorous 8 doctor medical
I went through on Friday.
I'll spoil the ending right now but letting you know that I passed.
(although I am still saving the best part for last)
I've read many versions of this event from other adoptive parents
but still it was unlike anything I have ever experienced.
Mine took place in a very lavish hospital just down the road from the university.
We had to walk into a small building
show our passports and explain our reason for visiting
before being allowed through the turnstile.
Then we stepped outside
walked up this sort of 'avenue' I'll call it
that I was told has all kinds of flowers and shrubs in the summertime.
(Heaven forbid you were actually sick and needed immediate attention.
5 minutes in and we were still nowhere near the door to this hospital)
When we arrived at the actual building that is the hospital
we signed in
checked our coats into the coat check
put some plastic covers on our shoes
and then stepped into this giant room.
It was maybe 40 feet long by 15 feet wide
wood panelling covered all the walls
and one wall was floor to ceiling windows covered in expensive lace curtains.
There were 4 chandeliers hanging from the ceiling
a built-in bookcase
paintings on the walls
and a series of long beige leather couches.
In the centre of the room was a conference table with 8 fancy chairs around it.
At one end of the room was a gurney behind a fabric screen.
Mom kept whispering to me, "this is so weird."
while I focused on keeping a straight face.
We waited almost an hour with 4 other couples.
Sima was in and out while we sat there
eventually returning with 2 of the 8 signatures I needed.
Minutes later a procession of medical professionals paraded in.
All women.
All wearing lab coats.
Mom whispered, "they look like they work in the meat department at Save-On Foods."
The facilitators all scrambled to get signatures from these women
they pushed and jostled
shoving paper in front of the doctors
while those of us being "examined" sat on the leather couches and watched.
Mom whispered, "Do you see that one with the red hair? Her name tag is pinned right on her nipple."
One doctor stalked in in 4" rhinestone high heels, fishnet stockings
(oh I am so not making this up people)
a black mini skirt under her lab coat and a push up bra.
I have no idea what she was a doctor of
but she signed off on me as well.
Doctor #5 called me to the table.
Surprise.
I sat down beside Sima and she translated the doctor's question:
"When you go to your female doctor, does he touch your breasts?"
Ummm...
I did a double take
then asked,
"Do you mean does he touch my breasts, or examine them?"
She meant the latter.
Yes.
Good.
Signature.
I sat back on the couch.
Mom whispered, "What did they ask you?"
Me, "later. I'll lose it if I tell you."
We waited another hour.
Eventually I was called into a separate room where I came face to face with the psychologist.
The questions came fast and furious
and most of them pertained to my sexuality.
Why are you not married?
Have you ever dated a man?
Why did you not marry him?
Do you date women?
Do you do drugs?
Are you a lesbian?
Are you sure you aren't a lesbian?
It went on for a good 20 minutes.
Finally she signed off on me although she still seemed leery that maybe I wasn't telling her the truth.
Back on the couches
and a lady appeared at the door.
I think to myself, "what now? We have all 8 signatures."
She had come to serve us all tea and pretzels.
I had a cup of black current while mom sipped some regular black tea.
We carefully avoided making eye contact.
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Going Back
We walked up the icy path towards the orphanage door
and heard a tapping on the window.
We looked up and a dozen little faces were looking down on us.
Above them all was Zenya
in her nanny's arms
waving frantically at us with the biggest smile on her face.
We waved back and 12 little faces broke out in smiles
as little hands reached up to wave hello.
She met us in the hallway
so excited!
I had worried that she would forget me.
Not a chance.
Big smiles, eager little feet jumping around
"hello mama!"
and then a bunch of Russian baby babble that Alex interpreted for me.
"She says she has been waiting for you.
She misses you.
She keeps wondering when you were coming back to see her."
She takes me by the hand and leads me down to the little room where we play.
She hasn't really grown at all
but my goodness is she ever talking more.
She introduced me to everyone that came in,
"This is my mama."
Oh she makes me smile.
We played for almost 2 hours and then it was time for her to have lunch with her groupa.
We'll be back tomorrow.
So awesome.
Looking at some photos I brought for the judge of her and I together.
Peeking in at the rest of her little groupa in the next room.
She was listening to some music on my phone and walked in to show her friends
"This is my mama's phone." she told one little boy.
"Can you find me a mama too?" he asked her.
I will say this.
This experience, this adoption has changed me in more ways than I can even get into at the moment
but what stands out to me over and over again
is the number of people waiting to adopt healthy babies under the age of 2.
People that sit on wait lists for months and years waiting for that perfect infant
while hundreds of little ones like Zenya go unwanted because they are deemed "too old".
Those little faces in the window are all 3 and 4 year olds
and really,
if you could see them as they reach their little arms up to you
if you could see their little eyes pleading that you pick them too
that you be their mama and take them away,
I think your heart would crack a little bit
just like mine does every time we step inside there.
So maybe if you're reading this
if you aren't one of my close friends or my grandma
but maybe someone who's interested in adoption
maybe you might consider opening up your heart to someone a little bit older.
I promise it will be the best thing you ever do with your life
and the best thing you ever do for someone else's.
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La La La
We turned a corner during our visit today.
Today she wasn't as interested in what I'd brought along to play with
today she was more interested in playing with me.
Its been a delicate balance during our visits.
I want to just scoop her up and never let go
and she,
I know she likes the feeling of being held
of being snuggled
but it is still new for her
and so she likes it in small amounts.
But not today.
Today she climbed on top of me and stayed there
begging to be cuddled
reaching her little arms up around my neck
giggling
squirming
running her fingers through my hair
while I tickled her tummy and neck
and lifted her high in the air.
She squealed and called out "mama!"
Over and over we did that.
And then she crawled onto my lap and asked to see some pictures of herself
so I pulled out my phone and we scrolled through a bunch of them
and as each image came up I sang, "That's my Soosha and I love love love her."
and Zenya started crooning along with me, "la la la"
"That's right. I love love love her."
"La la la"
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Court
Court today did not go as I had hoped.
The tide is shifting here
the feeling towards foreign adoptions is changing
and Zenya and I have been unexpectedly caught in the crossfire.
I was grilled for 2 hours straight by a prosecutor
who looked as though she had walked straight out of a communist era propaganda film.
I exaggerate not when I say that she had a hate-on for me from the moment we started
and was looking for anything to take issue with.
She found it.
The judge has kindly postponed her decision for another month
so that I can return home to collect a bunch more paperwork
to prove myself to this woman.
I do believe that the people who work in the system
who see these children day in and day out
know that adoption is their only hope,
but sadly
people like the prosecutor
believe it is better for them to stay prisoners in this country
in the institutions that they languish in
rather than sending them abroad.
We are down
but we are not done.
There's a 3 year old girl waiting for her mama to take her home
and come hell or high water
that is what I will do.
Your love and prayers are much appreciated at this time.
See you soon Vancouver.
We're coming home as soon as we can.
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