One Year Home

One year ago today Zenya and I walked hand in hand out of those orphanage gates.

Me brimming over with love and gratitude

Her silent and trusting.

I know her well enough now to see how scared she was during those first few days together.

How hard she clung to me in her waking moments

and harder still in her sleep.

Today I would say she has forgotten most of Russia

or maybe it is more accurate to say that she is choosing to forget Russia
for now

putting those memories away

pushing them to the back of the closet

letting them fall to the floor

and replacing them with newer and shinier memories

of happier times

of people that love her

that laugh at her knock knock jokes

and will get down on all fours to play 'dogs' with her 

and read her Fox in Sock over and over over again.

We were talking the other day about how our Family Day was coming up

and she asked me what I thought the first time I saw her
and in typical sentimental Candice style,
I answered her

You came in the door and I couldn't stop thinking how beautiful you were.

All I wanted to do was take you in my arms and hold you there forever.

And then I asked her what she was thinking the first time she saw me.

She thought about it very seriously and then answered

Zenya no liked being snuggled.

Oh how things change!

Here are some of my favourite pictures from our first year together as mama and daughter.